I distinctly remember someone asking me once, "So...Robin...what are your dreams and aspirations?" I got tongue-tied and had no idea how to respond. And when I figured out what I wanted to say, I was slightly embarrassed. I didn't know if it was okay to say, "Well, my friend, my dreams are to fall in love and live happily ever after with a whole little passel of kids. As far as aspirations (i.e., strong desire, longing, or aim) I want to keep a nice house, become an awesome cook, and maybe write a book or two." At the time, I was totally single and I was obtaining my teaching credential. So it may have seemed a little backward. In fact, I felt that it was and so I remained silent. Which could possibly mean that said friend would come to the conclusion that I had no dreams or aspirations and well, maybe I didn't know the meaning of the word aspiration!
Now I wonder why I was embarrassed to express those desires. I think I thought the politically correct answer would be "Well, my friend, I feel I have a high calling to be an educator and make a difference in the lives of young children in my community." Yeah, that would be nice, too. And of course, one could find a happy medium between the family life and the career. But I don't dream that big. My dreams are boxed in between a curb and a fence. Neatly wrapped in a bow of love and care.
What got me to thinking about this was that a minute ago I was washing the dishes. One part of my mind was nagging another part of my mind over the fact that yet again I was still in bed sleeping when Mike went off to work. This does not sit well with me at all. What makes it worse is that my dear husband truly believes I choose to stay in bed late. My mind is not even coherent enough at that point of my day to even be capable of making choices!
So my dream and biggest aspiration suddenly became the desire to wake up at a reasonably early hour so I could get ready and make breakfast and enjoy the sun coming up and read my bible first thing...I really want that! It's huge to me! And I don't know how to get there.
2 comments:
When you figure out how to get up early let me know. Ever since I stopped having to get in a car to go to work I find it very difficult to get up in the morning. The tragedy of it all is that if I got up early I could get most of more chores out of the way so I could play with my kiddos more and maybe even get in a nap. I don't feel to guilty about sleeping in anymore. But I do want to get up so that I fall asleep at night.
I'll let you know. Funny, this morning after writing this last night, I yet again woke up late this morning. Around 9:00. I have an alarm clock...I think I'll start setting it but in a different room. Because I am also a snooze button addict!
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